For several years I have been dutifully sending cartoons to The New Yorker, only to have them dutifully rejected by the editors. I finally decided that I needed to go to New York and hand-deliver my cartoons. This, I thought, would be my big chance to be rejected in person.
Robert “Bob” Mankoff is the esteemed cartoon editor of The New Yorker and a cartoonist himself. A handful of other cartoonists and I were waiting to see him that day. I was second in line.
I entered his office sporting my newly purchased ‘I ♥ NY’ t-shirt and matching cap. He greeted me with a smile, introduced himself, and had me take a seat. We exchanged pleasantries—‘Kind of chilly out today,’ ‘I found a good taco stand on west 32nd,’ ‘Gee, New York sure has a lot of tall buildings,’ ‘I think I might have caught something on the subway’—that sort of thing. Eventually he said, “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
I handed him the dozen or so cartoons, my hands shaking with nervous anticipation. He quickly but carefully studied each cartoon. His expression was dour, never changed; it was like he was studying ancient Chinese manuscripts. Once, I thought I noticed a slight raise of an eyebrow, but I might have just imagined it.
Finally he said, “These don’t make any sense.”
“Precisely!” I responded proudly, leaning back in my chair, arms crossed. I was beaming. Having studied New Yorker cartoons for years, I knew the kind of material they were looking for.
He sat staring at me, the dour expression still intact. “You can’t have a chicken and an elephant in the same cartoon.”
I tried not to show signs of panic, but I realized that most of the cartoons in this batch were chicken and elephant cartoons. I didn’t plan it; it just worked out that way.
“The size difference is too extreme,” he went on, “You could have a kangaroo and chicken or an elephant and kangaroo—but not a chicken and elephant.”
I was visualizing my cartoons, substituting kangaroos for chickens and elephants and trying to figure out if the cartoons would still make no sense.
“You’re probably right,” I said, no longer beaming, “but have you ever tried to draw a kangaroo?”
“And your children look like miniature adults,” he added.
Wow, I thought, this guy is uncanny. Drawing children has never been one of my strong points. I guess I hoped all the chickens and elephants would divert attention from my crudely drawn “mini-adults.”
“I don’t draw them as they are,” I said timidly, “I draw them as they will be.” That was the best I could come up with. A prolonged and awkward silence followed.
“Let’s face it,” he finally said, “cartooning might not be your thing.”
My head exploded. “Wait!” I shrieked, rifling through my backpack like a desperate raccoon with a garbage sack. “I’ve got more!”
He signaled with his index finger, and a security guard entered the room.
“Show the gentleman out,” Mankoff muttered, not even looking up.
As I was leaving his office, I turned to him with one last offering. “Lunch?” my voice squeaked.
“Out!” he barked, pointing at the door and shaking his head.
Next thing I know, I’m out on the street hailing a cab, telling the cabbie to “just drive.” I spent the next several hours gazing at the sights of Manhattan through the window of a Checker cab contemplating my curious encounter with Mr. Mankoff.
Eventually I made it home and stayed up all night drawing kangaroos.
Dave Rowles has been the Journal’s editorial cartoonist for 30 years. In his day job, he is a production manager with global allergen supplier ALK at its facility in Post Falls.
Your subscription will expire in less than 30 days. To ensure you do not lose access to any content, please renew your subscription now.
If you need help, please contact Jennifer Zurlini at [email protected], or (509) 344-1280.