Tom Haines did everything right. He spent 40 years at the same company. He showed up early, stayed late, raised a family, paid off the house, and diligently invested to enjoy a comfortable retirement. By 65, he and Jenny had what most people would deem a successful life. They had a pension from Tom’s employer, a sizable 401(k), a cabin on the lake, five grandkids, and good health. What more could anyone ask for, right?

Retirement was supposed to be Tom’s reward for his hard work and their diligence. He wanted to golf, and they wanted to travel. They had trips planned. Tom wanted to play Pebble Beach. Jenny wanted to see the kids in Phoenix, and they both agreed to visit St. Andrews during their European vacation. For two years leading up to the ‘last day,’ all they could talk about was the things they would do when Tom didn’t have to work. 

The first few months of retirement were exactly what they imagined. Tom learned to slow down and relax in the mornings. He enjoyed golf with his friends three days a week. They traveled to see the kids in Arizona and Atlanta. Life was good. They were living the dream and talking about the future. Together, they were learning to live without alarm clocks, deadlines, and work schedules. After decades of having his nose to the grindstone, Tom felt like he’d finally made it. 

That is, until about 12 months in — at the beginning of the second year — things started to change. The days began to feel stale and boring.

Golf outings became repetitive: the same foursome, the same course, the same banter. Trips to see family were nice, but travel was frustrating. The big trips they were planning were getting more complicated and increasingly expensive. Life was changing, but not perceptibly at first. One day just led to another. Monday didn’t feel any different than Thursday. Days ran together in a mundane cycle of wash, rinse, repeat. There was nothing motivating Tom to get out of the house. His routine was rather dull and unchallenging. Actual retirement was far different from what they had imagined it would be just a few short years ago.  

Tom needed something, but he didn’t know what. Though he was free to do whatever he wanted, daily life had lost its edge. He stopped keeping a calendar. Their meals together became less frequent. He watched more golf on TV and played less. Jenny went by herself to see the kids, and that European vacation was becoming a "someday" thing.

The sharp, decisive man who used to troubleshoot situations, make tough calls, and command respect was starting to second-guess everything — what to do that day, when to leave the house, whether it was even worth going out at all. The change was dramatic but gradual. Perhaps that’s the point. Nothing was pressing; nothing needed to be done. No one was asking for his help. The old, ambitious Tom was slowly fading away.

If Tom had the foresight to plan before retirement or the self-awareness in the moment, he might have realized he needed something more. Man is designed to give, to create, to build, and to contribute. Man is not meant to be idle. Tom needed to see that he didn’t simply stop working; he eliminated every expectation from his life. He didn’t need to show up for anything. No one needed him. No one depended on him. He had nothing to express his talents, test his skills, or utilize his experiences.

And without that, life was empty and unfulfilling. 

Tom could’ve considered any number of possibilities to remain engaged and contribute his talents in retirement. Imagine how different his experience may have been if, before retiring, he had committed to doing any one of the following:

• Mentor young professionals in his former career field
• Volunteer to serve in a board capacity 
• Join a community or civic organization 
• Coach youth sports or volunteer to serve on the committee
• Grandparent full-time, be present and involved 

Genuinely committing to something where decisions need to be made, problems solved, or actions taken would’ve changed Tom’s life. Tom needed to be challenged. He needed to make decisions, solve problems, and serve others. Tom needed to be accountable for results.

That’s exactly the part too many people overlook when they think about retirement. They plan for income. They plan for travel. They talk about tax planning and health care coverage. But they rarely define their purpose. And purpose doesn’t just happen. It doesn’t magically appear when the job ends. If anything, it dwindles — unless it’s replaced with something that requires engagement and the commitment to achieve.

The hard truth is: If a person removes all the expectations from their daily lives, they don’t stay the same — they decline mentally, physically, and socially. Not all at once. But incrementally, slowly, quietly, yet so predictably over time.

That’s why retirement planning shouldn’t just be about quitting a job and getting away from work. It should be about what’s next. What does a person want to achieve as they author the next chapter of their life?

What will stimulate them mentally, challenge them physically, and inspire them spiritually? 

In the end, the people who thrive in retirement aren’t the ones with the most free time. They’re the ones who still have a reason to get up in the morning — and something meaningful waiting for them when they do. So what about you? What’s on the docket for the next chapter in your life?

Kevin Spafford, CFP, is a partner adviser with Allworth Financial in Spokane. He is available at the office: (509) 624-5929; by cell: (530) 966-5560; or by email: [email protected].